Welcome to Day 5 of the First Annual Nicaragua Dispatch Bad Poetry Festival, a celebration of the stinkiest stanzas our readers could produce. This is the final day of this internationally celebrated event. The winner will be announced Saturday, and will be dragged through the streets of Granada on Sunday.

 

#18 Nicaragua, Ricanalgita

By Név Hamis

A reflection of the time
I suppose it really is
A punishment for the crime
That’s always been the biz

Internationalists in the eighties
Filled MGA airport
The Sandinistas were a great-tease
But the revolution had support

It all ended in a blink
Socialism just went broke
Red and black turned to pink
It all became a joke

Now it’s a Christian mockery
A quote from Leviticus
A right-wing Chayocracy
Oh how did it come to this?

 

#19 The fabulous Mr. Dinklestein

By Agamemnon López

I seen your foto in a magazine
Good-looking guy
Mr. Dinklestein

How’d you get where you at?
Your life looks crazy phat
Me palmo por usted
Mr. Dinklehead

 

#20 The Village by the Sea

By Edwardina Sheilerson
The dinosaur and the witch
Lived in a stolen castle
They only went out at night
The witch with all her tassel

The dinosaur was sad
His friends were closed in pine
The witch was rather glad
“Soon the castle will be mine!”

 

 

#21 Yes, no, maybe

By Sammy “the blade” Waleston & Dr. Freddy “long nights” Venkatraman

Yes.
No.
Perhaps.